


Turn Away, Run Away(Crying To Your Soul)

by besito



Series: when the monster finally- [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anxiety, Coming Out, Dreamsharing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Nightmares, Pillow & Blanket Forts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/besito/pseuds/besito
Summary: "Don't be jealous, babe. You're fucking it for me, you know that." Because you don't just date someone to date them when it could mean life or death.Or, Steve is a mess as always but hey, he's trying. Feat. Robin Buckley
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington
Series: when the monster finally- [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724560
Comments: 5
Kudos: 105





	Turn Away, Run Away(Crying To Your Soul)

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'Smalltown Boy' by Bronski Beat

Steve clutches the payphone tight to his ear, drums the fingers of his free hand against his thigh and waits and waits _and waits_ but there's no dial tone, no ringing, it's just silence and a crackle every now and then. He's closer to the edge of town, shady motels that he's been to once or twice just miles away. A warehouse looms in his peripheral vision and Steve finds that he can't look directly at it. 

In fact, he's done nothing but stare straight ahead at this payphone for, for… He actually can't remember how long he's been here, can't even remember the drive or- _BAM!_ Steve whips around, the first thing he sees is a hand pressed against the glass, the obvious source of the noise. Blue eyes stare intently, kind of desperate and they're almost the only familiar thing about the figure standing in front of him.

"Billy?" He thinks he yells it but he can't hear a thing, can only watch as Billy yanks down the bandana covering the bottom half of his face. He sees his name form on Billy's lips _, Steve,_ but it's quiet, everything is so quiet. And he thinks it probably shouldn't be, phone booths are not soundproof. The landscape is familiar, like Hawkins but _not_ and he's heard that before, from the mouths of Hopper and Joyce, Will and El. 

How did he get here? Billy motions to the phone dangling from Steve's hand so he brings it back up to his ear, watches Billy's mouth move and hears his voice through a shitty payphone.

"Steve." Billy says his name like the first rain after a drought. 

"Billy." Steve says because that's apparently the only word he knows right now and then, "I miss you." 

"I miss you too, baby, I miss you so much." He can see the way Billy's throat works extra hard, can somehow see the shine to his eyes like he's holding back tears. "I guess you found me." Billy says at the same time Steve asks, "Is this real?" There's a long silence where all they do is stare at each other and breath and then Billy half shrugs, smiles small.

"I can't tell, Stevie." And it might be the worst thing someone's ever said to him. Steve drops the phone, starts to push open the door separating them but Billy leans his weight against it, looking wild and untameable, saying _no no no_ over and over but it's silent again so Steve scrambles for the phone, confused because this isn't real, this has to be a dream or a nightmare or something but even in his dreams, Billy still protects him. 

Steve watches as Billy spins around, like he can hear something that Steve can't. "What is it?" He says into the receiver and when Billy turns to face him, fear is written all across his face. A horrible, horrible, _horrible_ parody of that night at Starcourt, the terrified but determined look on Billy's face while he stood up to the mind-flayer. 

"Baby, I love you, close your eyes."

"Bill-" Steve tries to say something, anything cause he has an inkling of what will happen as soon as his eyes shut.

"Steve, close your eyes! I'll find you, okay, I'll come to you next time, don't come back here. Just please, close your fucking eyes!" So Steve does.

___

There's no air when Steve wakes up. He rolls right off the edge of his bed, bringing tangled sheets with him and gasping for breath all the while, trying to figure out why his lungs are burning like he inhaled straight chemicals. When it finally calms down, when he can finally take a deep breath, Steve presses his face to the floor and wishes it were anything other than carpet. After a while, he sits up slowly, not trusting his trembling arms and doubly not trusting his trembling legs. 

_Close your eyes_ echoes through his skull, bouncing off the bone and pinging against his brain, prompting him to remember his quickly fuzzing dream but it's no use; he doesn't really want to remember anyway. Can already remember the feelings, _(confusion, excitement, nervousness, terror)_ , well enough without the images. It takes Steve another five minutes after he sits on the edge of his bed to realize what's off about the situation; his bedroom light is on.

Light panic bubbles to the surface of his stomach. But it's _fine_ , it is, because Steve has been slowly but steadily coming back to his own body but he sometimes still finds himself in the middle of things that he can't remember starting so it's easy to pass this off as his own mistake. Has almost convinced himself of that when he opens his door to run down to the kitchen and get a glass of water and sees that the hallway light is on. 

And then he sees that every door in the hallway besides his own has been opened and the lights have been turned on in each and every one of them. Dry throat clicking, Steve goes back into his room and makes a beeline for the nail bat he stores under his desk when his parents aren't visiting and keeps with his original plan of getting that damned glass of water because no _fucking_ way is he letting whatever the hell's happening scare him out of his own goddamn house. 

So, Steve goes right down to the kitchen, gets his water, and phones Robin at… four in the morning, apparently because sure, he's not gonna be chased out of his house but he sure as fuck doesn't like the idea of being here alone right now and Robin's, like, his _actual_ friend now. Something about Russian conspiracies and untested drugs can really strengthen the bond between co-workers, who knew.

___

  
  


"She sounds like a cool chick." Billy mutters as he tosses his cigarette butt into the dirt. And it's _weird_ cause as it turns out, Billy's a bit of a stickler when it comes to littering. Steve squints his eyes from his place on top of the camaro, can't help but get a little distracted by how fucking hot Billy looks leaning his hip against the hood, body angled towards Steve but face turned away, early evening sun turning him gold in every sense of the word. But, Steve isn't completely distracted, still notices the grind of Billy's jaw, the agitated flex of his fingers. 

"Yeah, I think you two would get along." Steve adds as casually as he can while he slides down to pick up the butt because his stupid ass _loves_ Billy and he knows to give him a bit of space when he's this on edge, doesn't want him to fixate on this one little thing later because that's exactly what Billy would do. When Steve turns back around, Billy's lost some of the tension, is looking at Steve from under his lashes with a look that screams _vulnerable_.

"What's up, baby?" Steve murmurs as he slowly invades Billys space, trying to give him ample time to pull away but he doesn't and god, how fucking crazy is it that, for once someone isn't pulling away from Steve when he shows them affection. Billy hooks his chin over Steve's shoulder, uses his thumbs to drag him in closer by his belt loops. 

"I was just being fucking stupid." Billy mumbles, presses a gentle kiss behind Steve's ear. Steve laughs breathily, nudges his cheek against Billy's. 

"Don't be jealous, babe. You're fucking it for me, you know that." Because you don't just date someone to date them when it could mean life or death. "You should come by the shop sometime, after your shift.. Give me something pretty to look at." Billy throws his head back and laughs, runs his fingers none too gently through Steve's thick hair and cups the back of Steve's head with both of his hands. 

"Yeah, okay, I'll just tell Neil that Max wants to try out the new ice cream place so make sure to bring your heathens and we can set them loose in the mall." 

"Set them loose?" Steve furrows his brows, very preoccupied with the fingers softly scratching at his scalp. 

"Well, yeah. No way I'm ogling you in that tight, little sailors outfit in front of my baby sister."

___

"Sorry about calling so early, just nightmares, y'know." It's not a question because she _definitely_ knows. 

"Don't worry about it, Dingus, wasn't even asleep." They're sitting on opposite sides of the couch, both draped over the back cushions to comfortably face each other. 

"You weren't asleep?" Steve asks incredulously and Robin smiles tiredly, shrugs the shoulder not pressed against the couch. 

"Couldn't get to sleep for the life of me last night, didn't even realize it was four." She laughs huskily and Steve shakes his head but smiles. "We should build a fort." Robin says suddenly, perking up.

"What?" Steve huffs fondly. "Where'd that come from?" 

"It just sounds fun." Something about her face sings bittersweet. "I don't know.. I guess I just wanna pretend I'm a kid again, before the scary shit started happening and not just, not just the upside down or whatever but all the- all the rest too." Her voice rises towards the end but Robin deflates as soon as the words leave her mouth. "This is exhausting, I'm exhausted." And Steve has a feeling she might start crying which is startling cause Robin doesn't do that in front of people but she's exhausted, must be a little slap happy too, for her mood to bounce around so quickly.

Steve gently drops his hand down on her wrist, pats her a couple times until she's rolling her eyes so hard he genuinely worries they might get stuck. "Let's make a fort." He says and Robin laughs but it's more relief than humor. They pile all of the couch cushions, pillows, and blankets dead center in the living room. Painstakingly arrange the furniture how they think is best for a fort and argue over what heavy things are better for holding sheets down securely. Robin wins, of course and then laughs giddily as she climbs through the sagging entrance.

Steve's mother would have a heart attack if she saw the state of her precious living room right now but Robin's eyes have that familiar glint in them again, even heavy with sleep and maybe that's what possesses Steve to say it. They're half asleep in a fort they spent an hour building and it's the safest he's felt since the last night he spent in Billy's arms. 

"Robin," Steve says softly, barely opening his eyes to see the drowsy blink of her lashes. 

"Yeah, Steve?" 

"Do you remember.. when you told me about Tammy Thompson?" Robin laughs quietly, snuggling deeper into the cushions lining the floor. Of course she does, that night was one of the worst nights of her life but that was one of the top ten scariest moments, coming out (especially to someone you care about- and _god_ , she really does care about Steve 'The Hair' Harrington, what a fucking turn of events) is always fucking terrifying. 

"Yeah, I remember." They're both whispering, like anything louder will break the bubble they've created for themselves. Steve is silent for a long moment, Robin starts to wonder if he's fallen asleep but she notices his long fingers plucking at the loose thread of the pillowcase beneath his head.

"I was gonna-" He takes a deep breath, clenches his hands and starts again. "The kids came in before I, before I could say it but um, I wanted to tell you, now I mean." Robin reaches out to squeeze Steves forearm comfortingly and it's just Robin, Robin who won't judge him because they're almost the same. It's easier to say, "I was dating a boy," that way he doesn't have to actually say it because he doesn't actually _know_ what to say, what to call himself. Robin inhales sharply, eyes opening wider.

"Steve-" 

"But uh, he's gone," Steve chokes, taken aback by the onslaught of emotion that swamps him suddenly. "-He's gone now.. I just, I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one." Robin slides her hand down his arm and tangles their fingers together, scoots closer until her head rests less than an inch away from his and doesn't even mind when his tears drip down his cheek and disappear into her hair. And Robin's smart, so smart, she's already mentally fitting pieces together while she squeezes Steves hand again.

"It's good not to be alone." She whispers and her voice cracks under unseen pressure and things are hard, things are scary but at least they can find some peace in this moment. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So much Billy & Steve happening here, had to throw in my gal Robin, it only makes sense that she's who Steve would call at four in the morning and do they curse too much?? I'm having fun with it
> 
> Constructive & kind criticism appreciated, hope y'all are groovin'!


End file.
